Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Avengers 2 (?)

The movie of Marvel's The Avengers is doing so well at the box office that I understand they are already working on a sequel. Well, I've got just the thing for The Avengers 2: It's the story of a valiant struggle against tyranny we all can relate to. I really hope they'll consider this story for The Avengers 2.

So this exciting episode begins where The Avengers leaves off. Having defeated Loki, and saving humanity from the impending doom of complete obliteration, The Avengers split up and go their separate ways. Captain America goes back home to the neighborhood where he lives, and with a beaming sense of pride in his rescuing of humanity from certain destruction, he decides to hang an American flag over the door of his garage. Oh, but upon seeing this, the homeowners association tells him it's against their new policy, and he must remove it. So Captain America says he just saved the world and all of their lives, and he's Captain America, so surely he ought to be allowed to fly an American flag on his garage, and also, it wasn't against the rules before. Oh, but the homeowners association says they don't care what he's done, and they refuse to make an exception for him, and they say they had a vote on it recently, which he didn't bother to attend. So Captain America says he was off fighting to save humanity, but the homeowners association says that's no excuse to miss the vote, and if he'd rather go off and save the world than vote in the neighborhood rules meeting, then that's just too bad for him, and they refuse to make an exception for the teensy little American flag on his garage. So Captain America refuses to take it down, so the homeowners association, drunk with power, and empowered to bully anyone they want, calls the police and has Captain America thrown in jail for not taking the small American flag down from his garage.

But now they have gone too far, for Captain America calls The Avengers, and they bust Captain America out of jail, and they team up to fight the fascist homeowners association (which might be led by The Red Skull in disguise or something). So The Avengers beat these jerks within an inch of their lives, destroy all their homes, etc., until they finally give up and relent on the flag prohibition and allow Captain America to fly his little flag on his garage. Oh, but by now it is too late (!), for after all this douche-baggery by the homeowners association, Captain America no longer simply wants to fly a small American flag from his garage, but he now wants to fly an American flag the size of a football field from an enormous sky-scraping pole, covering all of their lots so they can't rebuild their homes. And faced with the very real possibility of another ass-whooping by The Avengers (and especially from The Hulk), they run away with their tails between their legs and buy houses somewhere else, leaving the rest of Captain America's neighborhood free to fly American flags if they so choose. And once more, freedom defeats tyranny and oppression, and good wins out over evil yet again! (Hooray!)