Svedka has been running ridiculous ads for a while now. I suppose they get our attention, but it’s more in a kind of “Oh my God! Are they really doing that?” way. Their mascot is some, uh, well, I guess it’s supposed to be some futuristic sex-bot or something, except that “she’s” only like half-finished, so “she” looks kinda, um (How shall I put this?), less than arousing. (Although I’d bet the “humping robot” from Robot Chicken would just love her!) And then they have lots of silly disco lounge lizards and break-dancing show-offs doing “the robot” and such. And they used to ask: “Are you bot or not?” (Please put me down for a “not”, okay? Thanks.)
Oh, but then comes the most masterful stroke of all: the tagline! Their brilliant tagline is: “Svedka: voted #1 vodka of 2033” (<That’s the year, I think.) So basically they are saying that, sure, their vodka might not be so great now, but just wait until 2033! It will be the best vodka ever by then! (And that is, of course, simply because the machines will have taken over by then, and Svedka will be the only vodka they permit us to have, simply because they used a robot in their advertising. And that’s just intelligent marketing: pandering to our future robot overlords.)
This is a very brightly-colored and flashy ad campaign, what with all the strobe lights, the flashing strobe-style editing, and the at times quite contrasty color schemes. Some of the graphics and art direction is kind of fun, looking like pop-art styles or 1980s graphics. It’s a bit tacky, perhaps, but definitely eye-catching. But that robot lady reminds me of that lame Autograph album cover. Actually, that was from the 1980s too, so this whole thing kind of has a retro feel to it, even though it is attempting to appear futuristic. Odd, huh?
But you know what? Maybe the whole plan is to sell this stuff to the Borg when they conquer the Earth, and Svedka knows when they’ll arrive because their sex-bot has already sent them a homing beacon! (I believe they will arrive in 2033, or sometime like that. In fact, maybe it’s the Borg who will vote Svedka #1 vodka in 2033, after having obliterated mankind into extinction! And I believe the Borg always vote unanimously!) After all, surely only the Borg would find this half-finished sex-bot attractive, right? (Or do people actually find, uh, “her” to be hot? If that’s the case, maybe this will be a way for the human race to solve our overpopulation problem. I guess it’s worth a try, huh?
Or wait: maybe what they’re saying is that after a few shots of their super-vodka, even this unfinished mechanical tease-bot will appear attractive enough for sex, and if that’s the case, then maybe it will sell really well, and sex-bot manufacturers can save lots of money they would have spent making their sex-bots appear human enough to be pseudo-attractive. After all, why bother if Svedka can make people hot for these robots without all that extra effort? And then, of course, the robots will take over while we’re all drunk and spent and hung-over and sleeping after a night of sex-bot action! {I was going to write: “hot sex-bot action” until I realized that a sex-bot would not be warm like another person, unless it had some internal heater, and warm metal and plastic probably wouldn’t be the same at all, if it even had a heater. [Scald, burn!] But can you imagine trying to “get it on” with a cold metal robot? [“Brrrr!” Droop!] Oh, but I suppose that’s what Viagra is for, huh?})
Here’s the android abetting alcohol advertisement:
And here’s that Autograph album cover I’m referring to:
