Okay, this is just one of a gaggle of heart attack-themed
ads from Bayer Aspirin. But this one is especially fun in its disclaimer, for
it says: “Aspirin is not appropriate for everyone…” Yes, it’s “not appropriate”
(!). With the politically-correct fervor currently gripping our nation, there’s
only one way to read this statement
these days!
Yes, that’s right: I’m afraid that aspirin is inappropriate
for children because it’s always using offensive innuendo, making crude sexual
remarks, and evincing scatological sensibilities generally. It’s simply
unacceptable! That’s why children need the innocent pain relief of Advil. For
your children will never ask you embarrassing sexual questions after taking it,
like they always do after hanging around with that punk aspirin!
Shame on you, aspirin! You should aspire in a more
appropriate direction!
There is no surprise that I cannot find this commercial
online, for it’s probably bad enough that they have to admit their stuff is
“inappropriate” on TV; imagine what people on this wild & crazy Internet
would make of it! (Although, maybe I’m looking in the wrong place. Perhaps it’s
not on YouTube, but rather, hanging around on disgusting porn sites! Oh, for
shame! Talk about inappropriate!)
I am kidding here, naturally. I have bought and used Bayer
Aspirin for years, and it’s really good stuff, especially if you like to hear a
good sex joke! I mean…
