Hey, we are mostly all familiar with the movie Logan’s
Run, right? That’s the 1970s Sci-Fi movie
where society is built upon the premise that most people will willingly
volunteer themselves to be ritually euthanized at age 30 (and anyone who
chooses not to do so is hunted down and killed). It may seem like an
unbelievable scenario, with people willing to subject themselves to mandatory
suicide at such a young age: why would they do such a thing? Well, I think I
know, and it’s creeping up on us little by little. (And I think the filmmakers were trying to suggest this to us by setting the movie in the Washington DC area.)
It’s odd to me that the most recent reference for my
argument here comes from the very state where I myself went to elementary
school: Massachusetts. Yes, the very same place where the “shot heard ‘round
the world” was fired from is now the place which is ground zero for our
big-government’s war on fun, for it is here where the government has decided it
is now illegal to have a bake sale at school. And why? Oh, well, because it’s
too yummy, and there’s an obesity epidemic. It’s not that stupid government
regulations have made it so no kids are ever allowed to have recess or gym
class or play outside anymore; and it’s not that our education system is failing our children; no, it’s evil things like home-baked cookies and
muffins and cakes! That’s right: “Get thee behind me, Satan-food cake!” (<An
appropriate attitude/mantra for the landing-spot and original settlement of the
Puritans, I suppose.)
And it is this trend that I predict will make the world of Logan’s
Run someday a reality. (Which would mean
that we are currently living in the prequel to Logan’s Run right now, as I have previously predicted!) And
here’s what I mean: Everything that’s fun is slowly being made illegal by Big
Brother, “for our own good”; and after a while, I honestly believe people will
become so crazy and frustrated in
the so-called “land of the free” (Ha! What a joke! Where even salt is illegal some places! Ridiculous!), when by such time that everything that’s fun is
against the law, they will gladly and willingly end their lives of deprivation
and frustration as soon as possible! Because after all, when our big government
is finished taking over our lives completely, nothing will ever be our choice
again, and happiness will become a thing of the past, spoken of only in
forbidden, hidden books. And at this point, people will be volunteering for
euthanization early! In fact, they’ll have to keep them out by force! (Only for
people to get forged birth certificates, and then a whole new “illegals” debate
will begin in the news media, with liberal pundits saying it’s hate speech to
call them “illegals” for wanting to sneak in to be euthanized early! {And of
course, conservative pundits will complain that mandatory suicide is meant for
30-year-old Americans only, so
these trespassing “illegals” should be deported out of the carousel.})
Yes, in a future devoid of individual freedom and pleasures
of any kind, they’ll be lucky if anyone even wants to live until they’re 30! (Except that premature suicide will
probably be deemed a pleasure too great to be permitted! And so it must be made
illegal!) And this is how the government plans to conquer the overpopulation
problem. Unfortunately for them, by then the five people still here will have
become so obese, they will take up the entire continental United States and Canada! And by then, it will be too late! And all
because they didn’t understand that putting government prohibitions on things
just makes everyone want them that much more, and creates underground criminal
empires, like during Prohibition of alcohol in the 1920s! And it’s these
dangerous illegal baked goods, like homemade Ho Hos and Ding Dongs, that will
provide the fuel for the population size explosion! (The population will be
only 5, but it’s their sizes that will explode!)
Yes, that’s right: I’m warning you, future citizens of
America: once the drug cartels find out that bake sales are against the law,
they’ll drop all this dangerous drug trade stuff and turn their attentions to
illegal bake sales! You know it’s true! And then, my friends, the streets will
run red with blood, and white with cream filling and frosting! And then maybe
the government will learn but too late that life should be sweet, and not
filled with the bitterness of oppressive over-regulation! (Or something trite
like that.) After all, is this not the “land of the free”? (Or wasn’t it once?)
Anyway, hopefully I will have gone through the carousel and
renewed by then! (Only I’m already over 30, so I guess I’m technically “a
runner” by now anyway!)
Here’s the Wikipedia page for the movie Logan’s Run, for those who are unfamiliar with it:
