Actually, this is not only Nastia Liukin’s ad, as it also features other athletes/sports heroes. It’s just that what they have her say stands out as a little bit odd. You see, she says, of the Subway sandwich they’re advertising (some BBQ chicken, I think): “It’s a perfect 10!” But gymnastics no-longer uses the 10-point scoring system, right? I mean, the so-called “E-score” (E for Execution) still has 10 as its highest score, but that’s only one part of the score, and that gets added to the other part, the so-called “D-score” (D for Difficulty). I’m sure Nastia has competed under the old 10-point system of yore, but that’s not what she’d be evaluated with in competition these days; and four years ago, when she won the Olympic women’s artistic gymnastics individual all-around gold medal, they used this new, convoluted scoring system as well (the so-called FIG Code of Points). So saying the sandwich is a “perfect 10” sounds simple and direct enough, but it’s not really an accurate methodology for scoring contemporary sandwiches anymore, or at least, not according to the Olympic Sandwich Scoring Committee. (Maybe because Subway is not an official Olympic sponsor, they’re not allowed to use the FIG Code of Sandwich Points in their ads? Could that be it?)
These days, if a sandwich earned a 10-point score, it would probably lose to another sandwich with a 16.9 or something. So you see, calling something a “perfect 10” in gymnastics analogies these days would simply make whatever you’re describing seem mediocre, and with the word “perfect” perhaps sounding sarcastic. Maybe it would be a good score in NCAA sandwich competition, but that’s just a student sandwich competition, after all! Plus, ever since Nadia’s Sandwiches got all those perfect sandwich scores, all really good sandwiches seemed to be able to get a perfect score, and after a while, it didn’t seem quite as Earth-shatteringly awesome anymore. That’s why this new code of points was established: so that true sandwich excellence would stand supreme once again. After all, you can’t compare a bologna sandwich with a multi-level exotic sandwich masterpiece, now can you? How fair is that? It’s easy to make a perfect bologna sandwich: just put a few slices of bologna on a couple pieces of bread and spread some mustard and mayo, and voilà: a perfect sandwich! But a true master of artistic sandwich-making goes far and above such mortal endeavors to produce something sublime! That’s why the new code of points was necessary in contemporary sandwich competitions.
And so when Subway has our Olympic heroine say their sandwich is a “perfect 10”, they’re simply trying to con us with outmoded scoring systems! And when they do this, we should all cry foul and raise that little red flag to indicate that their claims have stepped over the line there. (That’s a mandatory 1-point deduction! So now it could only be, at best, a “perfect 9”.) So come on Subway: If your sandwiches are so great, then let them compete under the new scoring system, just like Nastia had to in Beijing! Or are you admitting she’s better than you? (Actually, they could have an ad where Nastia goes up against one of their sandwiches for “balanced nutrition”, and she’s on the balance beam, and then the sandwich does a balance beam routine in CGI, or as a puppet: now that would be lots of fun! Plus, we’d get to see Nastia on the balance beam again!)
(Now, naturally this is all a joke, and she says it’s a “perfect 10” because it would make absolutely no sense to anyone if the sandwich got a 16.9 or whatever it would need to win nowadays under the FIG Code of Points! But I’ll bet they sweated over this one a little bit, as I would have too, since they really don’t use that “perfect 10” system anymore at the elite level, so saying a sandwich is a “perfect 10”, and having a gymnast say it, would simply make the sandwich seem really old and stale, or else only competing at the collegiate level. Or, at least, real gymnastics fans would think about that. And if you’re a fan of Nastia Liukin’s, you’re probably a gymnastics fan as well.)
I can’t find the specific ad I’m talking about, but here are Nastia’s Olympic individual all-around performances from Beijing, if you missed them, which clearly demonstrate she is unquestionably one of the greatest athletes of all time (Wow: Just look at her go! Sorry about this music, though: I didn’t make this video.):
