So, this is an ad from an oil company that’s not talking
about oil. Have we seen this before? Oh, um, wait: I think we have! Chevron has
been doing these for a while, and so I think ExxonMobil must have followed
their example, which is this: They say to themselves: “Hey, young people don’t
seem to like big oil companies; what can we do to make them like us?” And then,
being rich out-of-touch corporate-types, they hire an outside Public Relations
firm to help them (thus creating jobs for BS artists!). And then the PR firm
says: “Hey, man: you’ve got to distract them with something else, like a problem
they care about, and then act like you want to help them with that something
else. Get it?” So then they hire an ad firm to make an ad based upon what their
PR firm tells them to do.
So, in this case, since Chevron has already said they like
small businesses (what else are they going to say? “We hate those little jerks
and we’ll drive them all out of business! Mwa Ha Ha!”? No, of course not! They have
to say that they love small businesses!
It’s like when BP did those “beyond petroleum” ads, where they said they were
spending some teensy-weensie amount of their gargantuan profits on “renewable
energy” {that was to make us think they cared}; but then, while the ads were
still running on TV, their head honcho decided to scrap the renewable energy
program, as parsimonious as it was, and just stuck with drilling oil. And then
the gulf oil spill happened, and I think we all know the rest. Um, that is to
say: That’s right: BP has saved the Gulf Coast and made it better than it’s
ever been! Their ads say as much, so it must be true!), ExxonMobil’s PR company
said: “Hey, what about the failing American school system? We could act like we
cared about that, and then everyone might think we were their friends! Hey,
it’s worth a try, right?” And so they tried it, and this current advertising
campaign is the result. (Either that, or they’re trying to rub it in that we’re
all dumb for not liking them by saying our schools are terrible.)
Never mind the fact that all the current oil company ads are
just basically saying: “Hey, forget you hate oil, and look over there at this
other issue/problem! Maybe we can help! And then you should like us!” And never
mind that they never really say what they’re doing to help, or anything real or substantive: No, just
believe the huge faceless international oil conglomerate you already hate:
that’s the ticket! How could you go wrong?
I have already stated in an earlier post how to deal with
this problem oil companies are facing with everyone hating them for pollution,
climate change, etc., but I will say it again here anyway (although this may be
hitting below the belt, as I have said before): Oil company ads should tell
kids the truth about how much of what they use and need everyday comes from
petroleum products: cell phones, tablet computers, mp3 players, video game
consoles, DVDs, BluRay discs, flat-screen TVs, etc.: none of this stuff would
even exist without oil companies, because plastics all come from petroleum
products. So they can pretend to care about schools and stuff all they want to:
until they hit young people close to home, they will never be convinced,
because now they’re trying to fool them; in my plan, they would be telling them
the truth (perhaps even the ugly truth), and there’s just nothing that
convinces people like the truth!
Here’s their silly science test ad (What are they going to
do to “solve this”? Make another ad?):
And here’s my previous post, where I detail the advertising
strategy I think would serve them better: it’s in the last paragraph, under the
link for the commercial (But like I said before, this is more of an
intellectual exercise for me, as I’d really like the oil companies to seriously
try to develop renewable energy with some of those billions and billions of
dollars they earn in profits. Then they wouldn’t have to lobby so much in the
future to keep their industry alive, because they’d be ready for the next phase
of energy technology when it came.):
