Crest Whitestrips: Other Colors?

As we all know, Crest makes a product called Crest Whitestrips, and they are little plastic strips with teeth-whiteners on them, and that helps people to get a 100% ISO smile, with a 500,000 lux of perceived brightness. But what if you wanted some other effect? Could Crest make that for you too? A friend of mine has some theatrical makeup thingy called "Theatrical Black Tooth", where you paint it onto your tooth or teeth to make it look like you are missing teeth. But this must be bad for your teeth, right? So can Crest devise a way of making this type of thing that would be good for your teeth, and perhaps even treat one's teeth with fluoride while wearing it? I think they owe it to us to make such a thing!

Just imagine it: Crest could make all kinds of teeth effects, and all in a manner which is good for our teeth! We could get Crest Blackstrips for the black tooth look, maybe Crest Brownstrips for that rotten-teeth look, Crest Yellowstrips for that nicotine-stained look of a pack-a-day filterless cigarette smoker, or perhaps even Crest Glowstrips for people who want glow-in-the-dark teeth (!). It would be awesome! Plus, it would be good for your teeth: just like having your teeth treated with some enamel-strengthening stuff at the dentist! And, once you're done with the effect you wanted to achieve, like for a character in a play, or simply a Halloween or masquerade ball costume, you can just use Crest Whitestrips, and it will remove all the stains and give you back your high-beam-intensity smile again!

That's Crest Blackstrips/Brownstrips/Yellowstrips/Glowstrips: ask for them by name at your local dental costume shop! Or maybe people will want to dye their teeth just like they dye their hair? That's probably the next hot fashion trend! So then they could offer Crest Redstrips, Crest Greenstrips, Crest Bluestrips, Crest Purplestrips, etc. It would be great! Hey, maybe even Crest Goldstrips: you can get a grille temporarily, and then simply bleach it off when you outgrow it! And it would cost pennies on the thousand dollar of traditional gold grilles! See? It's genius! Then they could make like tooth tattoos next, so you could get a diamond graphic printed on your teeth, and you wouldn't have to pay for real diamonds! Then even little kids could afford it, and it wouldn't even be permanent! Or you could get your favorite sports team's logo printed on your teeth!

Or, hey, if single colors are too boring and staid for your tastes, then how about Crest Tartanstrips, Crest Plaidstrips, Crest Stripestrips, Crest Polka-Dotstrips, Crest Fractal-Geometrystrips, Crest Tie-Dyestrips, Crest Op-Artstrips, Crest Lenticularstrips, etc. It's limitless how you can express the inner you with Crest Uniquestrips personality-enhancing tooth colorings! You're uniquely individual under the skin, so why not be unique over your tooth enamel too? If you think a smile says a lot about a person now, just wait until that smile's been "Crestified"!

That's Crest Uniquestrips: It's like graffiti for your teeth!

This is actually a joke, but I'll bet it would sell really well, or at least the brightly-colored ones might.