I just saw a commercial on CNN for Fire Hose Work Pants. I didn’t see the whole thing, as I was flipping between real news and the whimsical reportage of Ancient Aliens. Anyway, I saw the end of this ad, and the tagline was:
“Fire Hose Work Pants: Tougher than an angry beaver’s teeth.”
Now, I’m not a beaver expert, but I have to challenge that assertion. What proof have they about the veracity of that claim? Levi’s has a drawing of the purported event of some wimpy horses being unable to rip apart a pair of Levi’s jeans printed right on the label that’s on the pants, and what more proof can anyone ask than that? But what proof is offered in support of the Fire Hose Work Pants claim? Have they got a picture of a beaver breaking its teeth on the pants? Or, looking at the claim from another angle, have they actually pulled the teeth out of an angry beaver, worn the teeth as pants, and then compared their toughness against their own trousers? Without this type of proof, how can we trust them? And if we allow such recklessly undocumented claims, pretty soon oil companies will be able to say they’ll put a tiger in your tank! (Which is cruelty to endangered animals! No wonder environmentalists hate oil companies, with them threatening endangered species with entrapment and drowning in our fuel tanks! And with the size of gas tanks on most cars, they must be drowning defenseless tiger cubs exclusively! Those maniacs!)
(BTW: I didn’t see this ad for another year after hearing this tagline, but apparently they really do have a commercial where an angry beaver bites a man’s fire hose work pants, and it breaks its teeth on the pants. It’s a cartoon of it happening, but I’m sure it really happens from time to time, and I’ll bet they only did it that way to keep PeTA from picketing their company. {Little do they know, but even harm to cartoon animals for absurdist comedic purposes is considered animal abuse these days!})
(BTW: I didn’t see this ad for another year after hearing this tagline, but apparently they really do have a commercial where an angry beaver bites a man’s fire hose work pants, and it breaks its teeth on the pants. It’s a cartoon of it happening, but I’m sure it really happens from time to time, and I’ll bet they only did it that way to keep PeTA from picketing their company. {Little do they know, but even harm to cartoon animals for absurdist comedic purposes is considered animal abuse these days!})
