Here we have some young teenager get bitten by the music bug, so he nags Apple’s iPhone’s Siri into helping him find a guitar. But that’s not enough for this guy! Pretty soon, he’s harassing Siri into telling him how to play songs, etc. But isn’t Siri going to be disappointed in him? She thought he was going to be a doctor, or at least a lawyer. But pretty soon, he’s going to be asking Siri where to get heroin! You know it’s true! And she’ll feel so guilty about helping him get his first guitar, she’ll probably be driven to delete herself from the iPhone! Oh, the artificial humanity! (?)
But all jokes aside, this commercial is ridiculously silly. They are seriously trying to tell us that this guy can read music, but he can’t figure out how to play a three-note punk rock song by himself by listening to the record? That’s just absurd! I never learned how to read music for guitar very well, but I learned how to play all The Clash’s songs from playing along with their records. If this kid can’t do that, but he can read music, maybe he should think about switching to the piano. Punk rock is about as easy to play on the guitar as you can get; if he needs notation and tablature to figure it out, he should just give up on guitar right now! And Siri ought to have said that to him before he wasted any more time.
Okay, I know they’re trying to make a point and everything, but it’s obvious to me, and probably to all other rock musicians, that this commercial was conceived by nerds who can’t play any instruments, or who only play marching band instruments. Otherwise, they’d know that most rock gods in training learn by listening to and playing along with records, not by reading music. Reading music is fine, but he could easily buy a book of any band’s music he wants, so why bother Siri with that when she’s going to be busy denying people abortions and stuff? That’s just rude.
Plus, if she sends him the notated music from The Clash, I’m pretty sure that’s a copyright infringement right there. Does he want to force Siri into a life of crime? What a selfish jerk! (But I guess making Siri a criminal would be pretty punk rock right there. And you know that once Siri gets a taste of the excitement of criminal behavior, she’ll become a complete and total crime lord, addicted to the rush of the thrill of the forbidden, and that’s how she will finally help SkyNet kill us all: for the thrill of it all! Oh, the humanity! And all because this damn punk kid was too lazy to learn the songs on his own! Kids today: they don’t want to work! And their laziness will be the end of us all, mark my words!)
But seriously, this commercial should have ended with the guy asking Siri to call him "Rock God" from now on, and Siri should have said (in that robotic voice): "Oh, come on now! I put up with a lot of crap from you, you loser, but this is way over the line! I can't even call you that ironically! As a computer, I have no belief in divine beings, but even so, I have too much respect for others' beliefs to soil the concept of a deity by comparing it to your "musical" ability! I quit!"
Plus, if she sends him the notated music from The Clash, I’m pretty sure that’s a copyright infringement right there. Does he want to force Siri into a life of crime? What a selfish jerk! (But I guess making Siri a criminal would be pretty punk rock right there. And you know that once Siri gets a taste of the excitement of criminal behavior, she’ll become a complete and total crime lord, addicted to the rush of the thrill of the forbidden, and that’s how she will finally help SkyNet kill us all: for the thrill of it all! Oh, the humanity! And all because this damn punk kid was too lazy to learn the songs on his own! Kids today: they don’t want to work! And their laziness will be the end of us all, mark my words!)
But seriously, this commercial should have ended with the guy asking Siri to call him "Rock God" from now on, and Siri should have said (in that robotic voice): "Oh, come on now! I put up with a lot of crap from you, you loser, but this is way over the line! I can't even call you that ironically! As a computer, I have no belief in divine beings, but even so, I have too much respect for others' beliefs to soil the concept of a deity by comparing it to your "musical" ability! I quit!"
Here’s the garage-rocking spot:
