Leapin’ lizards, it’s leap year! I know about this because leap year is in the Gregorian calendar, and my name is Gregory. Apparently it’s also called the Western calendar (I like Spaghetti Westerns especially, so I think it should be called the Spaghetti Western calendar!), and the Christian calendar (Hey, what about the separation of church and date?), but they’re just trying to steal my thunder. Maybe I could get them to fight it out, and the Western calendar would have a gunfight with the Christian calendar; the Western calendar would shoot the Christian calendar, which would turn the other cheek and get shot a second time and get blown away, and the Western calendar would then be charged with murder but die in a shootout with the police, so only the Gregorian calendar would remain. And it would serve them right for trying to usurp credit from people named Greg.
Additionally, apparently there are three Friday the 13ths this year, since the leap year began on a Sunday (New Year’s Day was a Sunday this year), and they are 13 weeks apart, making them extra unlucky. This means that Jason from the Friday the 13th movies will get to select two other deathless slasher movie killers to join him in hunting you down this year, so you can’t escape like you did last leap year. Mwa ha ha! For those who are interested, he’s selected Michael Myers from the Halloween movies, and (despite their earlier fight in Freddy vs. Jason; after all, that was only a movie, and they were just pretending to dislike one another. In real life {death?}, they are good buddies.) Freddy Krueger from the A Nightmare on Elm Street movies. It is a little-known fact that this teaming up of the three major immortal slasher killer movie series stars is the actual threat the Mayan Doomsday Prophecy is predicting. (It’s true!)
They will attack and chase and kill some people (including you, I heard) on the Friday the 13th dates this year, but then they will seem to be finished and disappear. Oh, but that is only a ruse to make us lower our guard and become easier to catch on December 21st of this year, when the rumors they started about asteroid threats, prospective nuclear holocaust dangers and other natural disasters will have us all glued to our TV screens; and that’s when they will creep up behind us and strike! So wear a knife-proof suit and a helmet, and you’ll probably be safe. (But please don’t tell them I warned you, or else they’ll come after me, despite it being a Gregorian calendar!)
Here is some more information on leap year this year, for those who are interested:
