So here we have some red neck guy wrestling a fake alligator puppet in a slimy swamp while he’s monitoring his eBay auction of a Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox. This is obviously designed to show a guy distracted while busy doing something appropriately dangerous and hillbillyesque, all while being able to easily follow the events of his auction and still interact with the auction enough to win his silly lunchbox. But is this really an appropriate scenario? Shouldn’t this guy be in a promo for that show Swamp People, or at least bidding on a lunchbox for that show?
If this guy is a real Dukes of Hazzard fan, shouldn’t he be in a high-speed chase running from the police in some backwoods locale, all the while monitoring the auction and bidding on the lunchbox with his smartphone? And then it would be logical, since the police are obviously chasing him because he’s illegally using his cell phone for texting auction action commands, and hence it would work perfectly within the Dukes of Hazzard milieu, what with the guy appearing to be in a scene from the Dukes of Hazzard himself; plus, it would be wonderfully zeitgeisty, what with all the news hype about the dangers of texting while driving lately. In fact, to make it even better and more apropos, they should have him driving a General Lee Dodge Charger, just to demonstrate what a devoted fan he is to the show, and also indicating to us all in a glance why exactly this lunchbox would mean so much to him that he would risk his personal freedom to run from the police in a high speed chase to get it. And then the commercial would play out just like a scene from the show, and that would be a lot of fun for fans of the show.
(You see, if he had let the cops pull him over, he would have had to stop monitoring the auction, and he would have lost the lunchbox to someone else, proving why the police are depicted as villains in the show: because they’re always trying to prevent us from our constitutionally protected rights of pursuit of happiness; that is, the pursuit of Dukes of Hazzard lunchboxes, which everyone knows equals freedom! Oh, and the happiness generated by the high speed pursuit, too. {In the show The Dukes of Hazzard, the cops are trying to oppress and deny them of their constitutionally protected pursuit of happiness by buzzkillingly trying to shut down their moonshine empire. I think. And in the show or in real life, the distillation of liquor should definitely be legal for anyone who wants to do it. It’s really an abuse of government power to make it illegal, and they only do it due to the liquor lobby, which is outright government corruption.})
Oh, also: Does this mean that this phone is waterproof? If it's not, then this is false advertising! But if they made my idea of this commercial, it would be an example of truth in advertising, for texting while driving would get you pulled over by the police.
Here’s the alligator assaulting ad:
