Chinese Synchronized Diving

I watched the synchronized diving events, and the Chinese teams won gold again. One of the announcers said that some famous sportswriter in England* wrote that the Chinese looked like they were diving into a vat of molasses, while everyone else looked like they were diving into water. I don’t know if I agree with that assessment, but it’s a good idea to try it, maybe.

What I think was in the back of this writer’s mind was the possibility of having the Chinese dive into molasses next time, so maybe they’d get stuck, and they’d have to be disqualified. Or else, if they managed to get out, maybe the molasses would dry on them and harden, and it would limit their mobility, so they’d lose. But if they’re going to do this kind of thing, I have an even better idea.

What they ought to do is this: There are six dives in the competition, and so for each dive they could make them dive into a vat of something yummy, but different every time. Like, maybe the first could be molasses, the second one could be into honey, the third into caramel, the fourth into nougat, the fifth into crushed peanuts, and the sixth into milk chocolate. That way, even if they manage to win, everyone would eat them before the medal ceremony, because they’d be like big walking candy bars. Americans can’t resist that kind of temptation! So then the next best team would win the gold! (Hey: it’s just an idea…)

(This is just a joke, I hope you all realize!)

* After a bit of research, I have found it was Simon Barnes of The Times who wrote the article, and it was called: “Chinese divers the human face of excellence”. (I would provide a link, but I can’t find one that doesn’t try to make you sign up to see it, so I’ll let you look it up yourself if you’re interested.) But the Chinese divers are great, aren’t they? Wow!