Hey, Ping Pong at the Olympic level looks really hard. I
guess that’s why it’s called “Table Tennis”, and not “Ping Pong”. But it’s
still Ping Pong. And if they’re going to include Ping Pong in the Olympics, then
why not Foosball? They can call it “Table Football” or “Table Soccer” if it
needs to sound more self-important to be in the Olympics. And then, naturally,
they’ll have to allow Air Hockey (“Table Hockey” for the Olympics!) as well.
And, of course, Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (“Table Boxing” for the Olympics).
And while we’re at it, since there’s Ping Pong, then why not
Olympic Pong? (<The old video game.) And if there’s Pong, then we’ll have to
add Pac-Man too* (Ms. Pac-Man for the ladies!), as well as Asteroids, Defender,
Space Invaders, etc. In fact, why not just branch it out into a video game
Olympics? There should totally be one of those! (I demand Olympic Altered
Beast!) Then we could see couch potatoes bragging on ESPN about their thumb
& finger pre-Olympics workouts. (Wouldn’t that be fun for a change of
pace?)
And if there was a whole new Olympics movement for video
games and for home entertainment games, then there could also be a whole new
advertising blitz for these “athletes”, where they say they get their energy
from Funyuns, Cheetos, Bugles, Pork Rinds, etc. Oh, and White Castle hamburgers
and delivery pizza stuff like P’Zones!
And how about a board games Olympics? I’d love to watch
Olympic Trouble, Monopoly, Clue, Parcheesi, Stratego, Battleship, Hungry Hungry
Hippos, etc., on TV! (And of course, Olympic Twister!) Wouldn’t you?
* The gold medal for Pac-Man would be a gold Pac-Man-shaped
medal, of course!
