I was listening to old AC/DC songs recently, and I heard
them sing the line: “We’ll wake the dead”, and that reminded me of the old
expression that when people are being loud and partying, they say they will wake the dead.
And then it struck me that perhaps this whole flesh-eating zombie thing could
just be a big misunderstanding. You see, maybe when the dead get woken up,
they’re just really cranky, and so when they get woken up, they bite the people
who woke them up, and it’s not really that they’re flesh-eaters so much as it’s
just that like everyone else, they’re cranky when they get woken up. But then
they probably get embarrassed, and they don’t want everyone to think they’re
just foul-tempered jerks, so they act like they like eating human flesh. I’ll
bet that’s what’s really going on here, and I’ll bet the dead all laugh at us
behind our backs about it all the time.
