Apparently, if a news story is to be believed, the movie
review compendium website Rotten Tomatoes has suspended comments on The Dark
Knight Rises after death threats were made
against reviewers who gave the movie a bad review. I like the idea that people
would break the law to protect a superhero who is bent on protecting law and
order, but we all know what’s really going on here, right? This was just a
publicity gimmick, and Rotten Tomatoes ruined it by overreacting! (Unless it’s
just super villains trying to make Batman look bad. Unless it was super
villains who gave the movie a bad review to begin with!)
Look, so some comments made death threats, right? Well, then
they were going to try to kill the reviewers, and then Batman would show up to
rescue the reviewers who gave his movie a bad review, proving he really is on
the side of law & order all along, and so we’ll all know he’s innocent of
Two-Face’s crimes! (That was kinda dumb for him to take the blame for that anyway,
rather than to say The Joker set him up or some other excuse. But please don’t
threaten my life for saying so, okay? Because Batman will save me anyway, and
then he’ll just beat you up and throw you in jail!)
You know, maybe we ought to have a new law that makes it
illegal to give Dark Knight movies a bad review, and anyone violating this ordinance
goes straight to Arkham Asylum. Oh, but then I guess all the imprisoned super
villains would immediately respect and train those reviewers for future
anti-Batman stuff, huh? And that would only create more super villains, like drug prohibitions only create more powerful underworld cartels. (Gee, I guess with great power comes great responsibility, huh? But that’s from Spider-Man, so it doesn’t really apply here, does it?)
Here’s the super-villainous story:
