This movie plays out kind of like Kill Bill, but with little girls all fighting over dolls. One
little girl, secretly a vicious ninja assassin, moves into a nice neighborhood that has
a bunch of rich kids as cover for her new assignment. And little do her bosses
know, but she has always pined away for a collection of beautiful dolls: the
kind of dolls all her new neighbor little girls have, but which she has never
seen before, due to all her ninja assassin training since birth. So, our cute
little assassin anti-heroine decides she’s going to appropriate all the dolls
in her neighborhood by whatever means necessary. Oh, but these little girls
that are her neighbors, and who own these dolls, are not going to give them up so easily! (Are you kidding? Do you know how expensive dolls are these days?)
So what happens is that our little assassin anti-heroine
sneaks into her neighbors’ houses to steal the dolls, but they are always
protected by some homemade alert or security system set up by the little girl
who lives there, and so she has to avoid all the traps and pitfalls, fight the vicious
guard dogs, big brothers and sisters of her intended mark, and finally, the
little doll-owners themselves. And they fight all kinds of ways with all kinds
of weapons, like water balloons full of bleach, spitballs, kitchen knives, meat tenderizers, paper cuts, staplers, paperclips from wrist rockets, hairspray & lighter
flamethrowers, etc. And each time she strikes and gets away with the dolls of
one girl, news secretly spreads to the other neighborhood girls, and so the
next target for doll theft is better and better prepared, until she faces
veritable fortresses of sofa cushions, nugie and wedgie squads, gerbil armies,
etc., until she gets to the dolls and gets away with them. (And since none of
the little girls ever gets killed, she has to face more and more of them each
time!)
Then, extra hijinks would ensue when she has to go kill some
visiting government dignitary or corporate bigwig for her job, and she was supposed to be
preparing for it, but she’s been too busy fighting for all the dolls, etc.; and
then her dolls get stolen back by their previous owners while she’s away on
assignment, and she has to go get them all back, etc. Plus, there are lots of
exciting chases and getaways involving big wheels, tricycles, battery-powered
riding toy cars, skateboards, razor scooters, etc. And naturally, she ends up
with all the dolls at the end, but her underworld bosses won’t let her keep
them, and they are mad at her because she has blown her cover by fighting with all the neighborhood kids, and they mark her for death, so she has to kill all of them in a fight to the finish (!); and she’s
aided by the little girls in her neighborhood with the promise that they will
all share the dolls and play together in the future. (After all, they’ve been through
so much together!)
It’s a coming-of-age tale meets action/adventure/kung
fu/revenge/assassin/heist/family film! It’s a heartwarming tale of redemption! It’s a story where materialism (and commercialism) conquers all! You’ve
never seen excitement like this before! It brings new meaning to the term
“child exploitation”! It’s A Fistfiul of
Dolls: coming soon to a theater near you!
