My sister has three cats. When she goes out of town, I take
care of them. And I’ve noticed something lately, which is that their food is
different.
This is natural, really. One of her cats got kidney stones,
and it happens to be her daughter’s favorite cat, so when the vet said they
would have to change this cat’s diet, that meant it had to change for all the
cats. (Simplicity, you see.) And as an added incentive, all her cats (except
for the friendly, active one) were starting to get a bit overweight, so she
decided to spring for the ultra-expensive health cat food, just to help with
all of their health. And it’s working too! Would you like to know why? Well,
then, I’ll tell you.
Okay, so in the past, we used to feed her cats Friskies
(Classic Paté), and they loved
it. In fact, they liked it so much,
they used to try to squeeze each other out for first dibs on the bowls (2 bowls
for 3 cats). And they always used to crowd into the kitchen to rub against all
of our legs to get the food in the morning, too. (That’s how we should have
known they had an addictive relationship with food!)
Oh, but with this new cat food, it’s much different. Now the
cats are all thin and svelte, and they never bother us for food anymore. Want
to know why? Well, for one thing, they hardly eat any of it. Only one cat ever
comes to wait to be fed anymore, and it’s not so she can get it first: it’s
only so she can do her little passion play of slowly walking over to the bowls,
smelling them both, looking back over at me, smelling them again, looking back
again, looking down, looking at me again, and then acting like she’s burying
the food as though it were cat poop and walking away. (This happens every day,
twice a day. But to be fair, she can’t speak English, so she’s doing the best
she can to communicate, and I understand her perfectly well enough! The other
cats, I think, naturally assume we hate them for feeding them this stuff.)
So, while I will not reveal the name of the cat food
involved in this scientific diet, I will say that they don’t seem to like it.
But it has made them lose weight, so it works for that, at least. (And this is
the only reason I think it works at all: because they don’t like it!) And this
is what I think the government is going to start doing with us pretty soon. Seriously, they spend
most of their time berating us for being fat, bashing fast food, etc., and meddling
more and more in healthcare stuff, so it’s really only a matter of time, isn’t
it?
But they really don’t even need to change the food with us.
One of the foods my sister got for her cats (the dry stuff) has the word
“urinary” in the name of it. If the government would simply mandate the inclusion
of the word “urinary” in the names of human food as well, I’m sure we’d all
lose weight too!
