Some recent news story claims some science nerds (who must
have been spanked a lot for being dorks) say spanking naughty kids causes
severe developmental disabilities in children, leading to alcohol and drug
abuse* (or to being scientists). Well, isn’t this just the kind of liberal claptrap Republicans always
claim ends up killing jobs? And they’re right, you know! After all, how is
anyone supposed to develop a spanking fetish if they never get spanked? Think
of all the pervert sex toy companies that will go out of business! And what
about liquor and drug companies, not to mention illegal drug dealers? Why, they’ll
all lose their jobs, too!
The economy is already in tatters, and liberal science nerds
with their cuddly wimpery just want to make it all worse! Why, it’s no wonder
science is the enemy of Republicans, with crap like this going on! And so when
you hear about all the jobs liberals kill, remember all these jobs I’ve listed above, and think of how Republicans are the
champions of such industries!
And considering this devastating effect upon the economy
preventing spanking will definitely cause, then it is our patriotic duty to
spank anyone and everyone we come into contact with. And if we can’t spank our
children anymore, well then fine; but that’s no reason we can’t at least spank
each other, right? (Someone’s got to have been naughty somewhere, right?) Think
of the ripple effect on the economy if we don’t! After all, it’s for your
country! (And it is then, in effect, for your
own good, after all!) So let’s get cracking, that’s what I always say!
Chop, chop!
Here’s the spanking story from CBS News (Looks like someone
got a good spanking over there!):
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57465010-10391704/spanking-physical-punishment-may-raise-risk-for-mental-health-woes-in-adult-years/
* Um, are we sure these naughty kids weren’t just going to get involved in alcohol and drugs anyway? It seems to me that’s a natural pathway for naughty people, isn’t it? And naughty kids might tend to get spanked more often, right? So are we really sure that this spanking thing and the alcohol and drug use thing aren’t just incidental, as opposed to being causal, here?
* Um, are we sure these naughty kids weren’t just going to get involved in alcohol and drugs anyway? It seems to me that’s a natural pathway for naughty people, isn’t it? And naughty kids might tend to get spanked more often, right? So are we really sure that this spanking thing and the alcohol and drug use thing aren’t just incidental, as opposed to being causal, here?
