Hey, man: We all know this new Batman movie is simply Hollywood’s
way of attacking Mitt Romney, right? Yeah, lefty Tinseltown is always bashing
Republicans, but this time they thought they could do it with suggestion and
without anyone noticing what they were up to. Well, I’m onto them; and I know
you all know what I’m talking about, but I’ll spell it out anyway:
Who is the villain in the new Batman movie? Why, it’s Bane;
and what does Bane sound like? Why, it’s Bain Capital! So we all see their
propaganda out in the open at last! Bane is the villain, so naturally they are
suggesting Bain Capital is a villain too: those sly devils!
Oh, but guess what: How do we know Mitt Romney isn’t really
secretly Batman himself? He’s the only guy running who has that kind of Bruce
Wayne money, right? So then it’s obvious that Mitt Romney is, in fact, Batman:
the Dark Knight, fighting for righteousness! (His ads claim that kind of grandeur, don’t they? And obviously he always acts all lame to protect his secret identity!) And who would try to trick us into
thinking he was evil but the Joker? And what character have we seen President
Obama made up as in posters recently? Why, it’s the Joker, isn’t it? And that
proves that those pictures are what he secretly really looks like! (They wouldn’t make those posters if they weren’t
true, now would they?)
So now we all know the truth: Mitt Romney is really Batman,
and President Obama is really the Joker! (A-ha! I knew it!) So now
who will you vote for? (Robin for Vice President!)
(Oh, I wish someone would make silly political ads like
this. I’m tired of the issues already!)
Here’s that picture of President Obama as the Joker, for the
one person out there who hasn’t seen it before:
And, of course, this is just a silly joke! Because everyone
knows it’s really John Kerry who is Batman, and his wife who is the Joker, and getting
their frustration out fighting in public behind costumes is what makes their
marriage so strong! (This whole superheroes-fighting-super-villains thing is just marriage-counseling therapy for the super-rich, you
see. How else do you think they can afford all those high-tech weapons and custom-made vehicles and stuff? {Not to mention the couture costumes! That’s got to cost a pretty penny right there!})
