I noticed one of my movie channels was showing Freddy Vs.
Jason tonight, so I watched some of it again. I like how it’s pretty true to both series, and how it definitely uses
teen sex to attract Jason, since he’s I guess opposed to it or whatever. But
you know, he’s got to be from New England or something, because he died at Camp
Crystal Lake, right? Well, there aren’t any crystal lakes in the South: they’re
all full of moss and mud and algae and poisonous snakes and stuff. There are
some springs in Florida that might be considered crystal (there’re not lakes,
though: they’re springs), but I don’t get the sense that Friday the
13th happened in Florida, somehow.
But you know, when I lived down South, something happened a
lot down there that didn’t happen as much up North: teen marriages. So, what
would happen if Jason wanted to kill a teenage married couple for having sex?
Would it work, or is it the illicit nature of teen sex that attracts him for
retribution? (Because if it’s just the sex, then they could have Jason
Attacks the Old Folks’ Home movies pretty
soon, since apparently they’re getting it on a lot there nowadays. Maybe that’s what’s coming next in the movie series?)
But this idea of the married teen couple interests me. If
Jason attacked them while they were having sex, and they held up their wedding
rings, would it repel him like a cross to Dracula? I’m just curious how this
would work. I mean, we all know teenage sex attracts Jason’s vengeance, but I
was never clear if it was age-specific, or simply its illicit nature. I guess
we’ll find out in Jason Attacks Mississippi,
coming soon to a theater near you! (In this movie, everyone is a teenager
married to their cousins, and Jason can’t kill anyone, even thought he’s
disgusted with the incestuous nature of it all, because he’s only allowed to kill
unmarried sexually active teens, and everyone in Mississippi is already married
by age 16.)
(Of course this is all exaggerated for effect in the movie, because I think the age is really more like 18.)
(Of course this is all exaggerated for effect in the movie, because I think the age is really more like 18.)
