I was shaving today, and I noticed something. They always
say drinking some strong drink will “put hair on your chest”, but many men
don’t have and never get hair on their chest. But there’s one place men always end up getting hair eventually, and it’s where we
can all see it: on their ears. I have it now trying to fuzz out all over the
place. It’s annoying, but it gave me a brainwave: why not switch up the old
saying about getting hair on your chest with putting hair on your ears? Then
this liquor that puts hair on your ears could be named after the March Hare,
since he’s crazy, and he’s got hair on his ears. (Plus, he’s got “hare”, which
is a homonym for hair, in his name!)
So, once established as a brand, this March Hare liquor could
play around with ads and slogans in many ways. They could say: “Put some hair
on your ears!” They could say: “Put some hare in your chest!” And during Spring
Break, they could say: “Spend March with the March Hare!”, or: “March into
Spring with the March Hare!” And of course, March Hare could sponsor March Madness on TV!
Plus, with the March Hare being a part of Alice in
Wonderland, they could say it will take you to Wonderland when you drink it,
etc. And, of course, they could say: “Makes you mad as a March Hare!”, and:
“March into madness with the March Hare!” (Oh, and they could take that classic
illustration of Alice with the little bottle that says “Drink Me”, and say it’s
the very first bottle of March Hare brand liquor! {And then they could say:
“March Hare brand liquor: Leading young girls astray since 1865!”})
Hey, maybe there even already is a brand of liquor called
March Hare? You never know. (But have I got some ads for them if there is!)
