Raid Spider-Man (Joke) Ad

None of the bad guys ever seems to be able to defeat Spider-Man, and I think that’s because they’re not using the right kind of weapon against him. A big rolled-up newspaper might work well (which is why it’s so odd that Spider-Man works for a newspaper: one of the spider’s natural predators! {Squish!}), but there’s another possibility, since he’s got spider DNA or whatever: Raid spider killer. So why not have a Spider-Man/Raid movie tie-in ad? Here’s how it might go:

Spider-Man is trying to stop The Lizard from releasing some spray into New York City to turn everyone else into a lizard too. So Spider-Man sneaks into The Lizard’s laboratory, and confronts him. Oh, but this was all a sneaky ploy, for it’s not actually lizard spray this time, but Raid spider killer spray (!). So The Lizard sprays Spider-Man and kills him, and The Lizard lives happily ever after with a city full of newly-created lizard babes. The End.

And then, if this ad is popular, they could continue the campaign with other Marvel super villains killing Spider-Man, like Doctor Octopus holding a can of Raid in each mechanical arm, spraying them all at once at Spider-Man, The Green Goblin throwing those house fogger “bombs” at Spider-Man and killing him, etc. And, naturally, at the beginning of each new ad, they could explain how some science nerd superhero like Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) clones Spider-Man to bring our hero back to life, enhancing his DNA each time to make him stronger and more impervious to anti-spider poison; but it’s no use, because Raid is so powerful, it kills spiders dead every time: even Spider-Man (!).

It might be especially fun to have Spider-Man crawling on the ceiling behind some villain, and have the bad guy turn around and spray him with Raid, whereupon he falls off the ceiling onto his back with his legs and arms sticking up, dead (like a real dead spider might look).