At this special time of year, I would like to tell the Veterans of the War on Christmas (VWC): "Thank you for your service." I'll bet these guys get PTSD every time anyone ever says: "Happy Holidays" to them instead of: "Merry Christmas." It must be rough. But like Jesus said: "You better say: 'Merry Christmas' instead of: 'Happy Holidays,' or it means war!"
Of course, I am only joking here. But I still hope Bill O'Reilly gets his battle cross medal for his heroism in the War on Christmas. (It is a cross made of assault rifles over a green Christmas tree-shaped medal, hanging from a ribbon used for wrapping Christmas presents.) He never fought in any actual war, so given his hawkishness, I think he deserves this.
