Feminine Hygiene Product “Phantom of the Opera” Ad (Joke/Proposed)

In this joke/proposed ad (based on the silent film: The Phantom of the Opera) for a feminine hygiene product, like Always, Kotex or Tampax, the Phantom leads Christine Daaé down into the bowels of the opera house, and into his hidden lair. He asks her if she will stay with him, and she says okay, but if she’s going to have to live in an underground secret hideout, she’s going to need some feminine hygiene products. But the Phantom says that’s not a problem, because he’s already stocked up with the best, and he shows her. She says that was very thoughtful of him. Then she asks to see him without his mask, and he reveals his hideous countenance, but Christine says: “That’s okay; you’re more considerate than most men I know. Plus, you’re exciting, you’re exotic, and you’re a good provider. Looks aren’t everything, you know.” And so they live happily ever after, and all thanks to (whichever brand of feminine hygiene products).