In watching the Ken Burns documentary series: The Roosevelts: An Intimate History, I was reminded of how naval ships get named: many after statesmen, but also some after famous cultural figures.
So then where’s the USS Dr. Seuss? He made political cartoons and films helping with the war effort, so doesn’t he deserve it?
But what best thing to do with the USS Dr. Seuss would be to have it painted all silly looking colors, with Dr. Seuss style trees and buildings and mechanical whatsits on deck, and maybe some Rube Goldberg firing mechanisms on the guns, and other silly, scary things. We could use it as a psychological weapon, keeping the enemies guessing and thinking we’re crazy. Plus, it would have all the stealth stuff and nukes too, just in case they thought it was a practical joke and attacked it.
You may think Dr. Seuss is incompatible with the Navy, but you’d be wrong. After all, they make sailors eat yucky stuff like green eggs and ham, and what could eradicate all the trees like a nuke? And the sailors could all dress like the Lorax, Sam I Am, the Fox in Socks, the Cat in the Hat, or even the Grinch; in fact, maybe there could be some secret military ranking system using these characters (the Grinch would obviously be in command).
So it would basically look like a big floating theme park, until an enemy engaged it; then it would be the last thing they ever saw (but at least it would be a festive and fun last sight).
So it would basically look like a big floating theme park, until an enemy engaged it; then it would be the last thing they ever saw (but at least it would be a festive and fun last sight).
