New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is speaking today about
an alleged NYC subway terrorist plot referred to be the new Iraqi prime
minister. But there was a news story today claiming Mayor de Blasio killed a groundhog
when he dropped it earlier this year, and that there was allegedly a cover-up
at the zoo, and I was wondering if he was going to apologize for that wanton
act of groundhog murder.
And that’s when it hit me: the groundhog murder and the NYC
subway plot: they’re connected! Yes, you see, groundhogs know that Mayor Bill
de Blasio has gotten away with groundhog murder, and they want revenge! And
what kind of plot could groundhogs carry out? Why, an underground one, that’s
what! And where’s the subway? It’s underground,
isn’t it? And so it’s clear that this threatened subway plot is going to be
carried out by groundhogs to get revenge for their fallen, murdered comrade
Hizzonah got away with killing by covering it up. And then I thought this would
make for an exciting horror/action/revenge/terrorism/nature-strikes-back movie,
taking place in New York City, and showing the horrific revenge of angry
groundhogs on the city’s subways.
Just imagine it: rabid, monstrous groundhogs attack the
city’s subway system, and they won’t leave until they’re chewed us all to bits!
There’s only one thing we can do: deliver the mayor to them on a silver
platter, but the riot police, using police state tactics, won’t let the
citizens get justice for the groundhogs!
It’s all the man-eating groundhog terrorist action you can
handle, it’s: NYC Groundhog Day,
coming soon to a theater near you!
(This is all just a joke, I hope you understand.)
Here’s the story about the grisly groundhog murder and cover-up:
