There’s an upcoming TV series called: The Flash, starring the popular comic book character who can run fast and, um, er, uh; hm. Well, he can run fast, anyway. I thought it was going to be a movie, but it will be a whole TV series (!). What’s it going to be about? How will they fill up a whole TV series about a hero who runs fast?
Hey, I have an idea: they could have him face a villain called Molasses who slows our hero down in a variety of ways, like pouring molasses over him in one episode, or making him eat a Marathon Bar candy bar in another episode. (Marathon Bar candy bars had ads in the late 1970s where characters would claim they did everything fast, and then some jerk would challenge them to eat a Marathon Bar fast, and they couldn’t, because it’s milk chocolate covering chewy caramel. I always wondered why they never used The Flash: maybe too expensive to pay royalties for the character?)
(Surely Robot Chicken has already done a joke about The Flash in bed having premature ejaculation, and his partner saying: “Oh, so that’s why they call you ‘The Flash’.” But if not, hopefully this new TV series will broach the issue.)
I hope the show will be sponsored by Nike running shoes and Monster energy drinks.
