Thursday, July 28, 2016

Bill O’Reilly’s Gourmet White House Slave Entrées

Recently on his show, Bill O’Reilly reportedly said that the slaves who helped build the White House were “well fed”*. And the reason he knows this is that he has painstakingly researched those meals for a new brand of gourmet frozen entrées he has launched based upon the original entrées fed to the slaves who helped build the White House.

These delicious entrées, cooked by Bill O’Reilly himself and frozen at the peak of their freshness, will let you know exactly what conditions were like during slavery in the United States of the late 18th Century. Unfortunately, unlike the lucky slaves who got them for free, you will have to pay for these delicious meals.

Yes, Bill O’Reilly knows slavery was a lot more pleasant than people think, and now you can finally get a taste of how great it really was when you eat Bill O’Reilly’s Gourmet White House Slave Entrées! You’ll be a slave to the great taste of Bill O’Reilly’s Gourmet White House Slave Entrées! They’ll always keep you “well fed”!

(Of course this is all a joke, making fun of Bill O’Reilly’s seemingly causal attitude toward slavery. I hope this does not offend anyone, except maybe Bill O’Reilly.)

Here’s a story about this belief-beggaringly dunderheaded statement by Bill O’Reilly regarding the purported treatment of the slaves who helped build the White House:


* In all seriousness, I would very much like to know how Mr. O’Reilly knows the slaves who helped build the White House were “well fed”. Is he a man cursed with immortality who was a slave master 200+ years ago? I guess, like they say, anything is possible…