Dementia 13,
Francis Ford Coppola’s first full-length movie, is a real low-budget horror
classic. TCM showed it again recently, and I’m sure they will show it again
around Halloween too. And in this movie, we get to see Patrick Magee with white
hair and a black mustache and eyebrows. And I thought: “Hey, what a great Just
for Men Mustache Dye ad this would make!”
So in this joke ad for Just for Men Mustache and Beard Dye,
Patrick Magee’s character from Dementia
13 is a psychiatrist who is so incompetent, all of his patients become axe murderers.
(Dementia 13 is a movie about an axe
murderer, for those who don’t know.) And with his axe-murdering patients always
murdering their families with an axe, nobody is ever left to pay his fees. And
so he doesn’t have enough money to buy hair dye and also mustache and beard
dye, so he has to choose which to get, and he decides to get the mustache and
beard dye because people mainly look at other people’s faces most of the time.
Unfortunately for him, when one of his patients sees him
again, his newly dyed mustache and eyebrows reminds this patient of the father
who used to abuse him, so he chops up Patrick Magee’s psychiatrist character
with an axe.
Oh, but at least now he’ll have behind a good-looking corpse
because he used Just for Men Mustache and Beard Dye: for corpses so sexy, they
encourage necrophilia! (Or, at least his severed head will look attractive,
even if the rest of him has been chopped up.)
This is Patrick Magee from Dementia 13:
