Some lady really wants to eat Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut cereal, but she remembers the strict government rules on when people are allowed to eat cereal, so she totally cheats and says it must be morning somewhere, whereupon she dons a Chinese dragon costume, and eats the cereal. Okay, so there are obviously a lot of problems with this scenario, first of which is that she’s totally cheating: wearing a Chinese dragon costume doesn’t make it “Morning in America”! Never mind the fact that she’s trying to steal the “Morning in America” idea for China by wearing that Chinese dragon costume (!). So then obviously she’s a Chinese spy: otherwise, what’s she doing with a Chinese dragon costume?
Or, maybe it’s different than it looks! Perhaps she’s actually an American CIA spy trying to infiltrate China with this dragon costume, but she’s already blown her cover by showing her plan on TV in a cereal ad! She really should have thought of this before she did the cereal commercial! Or did Karl Rove send her the cereal to get her to accidentally out herself as a CIA agent because her husband ratted out the Bush Administration about there being no WMDs in Iraq? (Oh, sorry: I meant Richard Armitage! I make that mistake all the time! Sorry Karl.)
But now that she’s let the cat out of the bag about her secret CIA mission to try to infiltrate China’s military by wearing a tissue paper dragon costume, aren’t the Chinese going to know just how to lure her out into the open by leaving out bowls of Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut cereal everywhere? And once she falls for it and goes to get some, they will positively know she’s a spy and nail her! Which proves Kellogg’s is just a front for the Chinese secret service, only existing to betray our international spy network! (I knew it all the time!)
Here’s the ad that’s trying to steal the thunder of Reagan’s “Morning in America” ad for China!:
