Anyone watching football lately will surely notice the
crappy refereeing. This was no surprise to me, but what did surprise me was that these weren’t the same lame
referees from last season. I didn’t think it could be worse than that, but
apparently it is (yes, even I see that it is), so I have a suggestion:
How about not having any referees anymore? Surely no calls
would be better than the wrong calls, right? Plus, then the players could be as
rough as they wanted to be! Now wouldn’t that attract more viewership? Then the
NFL would make even more money than ever before plus save money on referees! Surely
it’s a win/win for the NFL. No rules football: who wouldn’t watch that?
Then, if players groups made claims about injuries, maybe
the NFL could just hire the same people who said cigarettes didn’t cause
cancer, and they could keep denying responsibility for years to come! Maybe
they wouldn’t even have to pay these tobacco guys, but just give them swag and
invite them to parties and the Super Bowl and stuff. And then, by the time
studies prove anything about head injuries, etc., all the guys in charge now will be
long gone, and it will be too late for anything to affect them. That’s what the
tobacco industry did.
Of course then the players might just decide to be nice to
each other, and then they’d have to hire referees back just to make them be
mean and brutal again. Or else maybe they could start NFL Touch Football! Then the league
could save money on all those pads and helmets, and we could see all those
handsome faces and stylish haircuts, and advertisers could have their endorsers
recognized! In fact, maybe this whole kerfuffle is just so the league can have
an excuse to get rid of helmets so they can make more money on advertising. Then we could see ad slogans tattooed on players’ foreheads! (You know you’d
love it!)
