I was out at a restaurant with family last night, and when I went to the restroom, I couldn't help but notice that there was a guy in one of the stalls taking a crap while he was talking on his cell phone (!). It was ridiculous! Seriously, he was talking about some business deal while he was farting extremely loudly, and other people were flushing the urinals, etc. How tacky, thought I! This whole cell-phone-adhered-to-one's-ear thing has totally jumped the shark when people are talking business on the phone in the bathroom, especially a public toilet while going to the bathroom! What if the person on the other end of the phone gets insulted and asks: "Are you in the bathroom?" Then maybe the person in the bathroom could say: "Oh, no: sorry. I'm going through a library of sound effects on my computer and I'm going through the toilet and bathroom noises. Isn't it funny?"
Oh, but they couldn't get away with that one if only those tech wizards would update the abilities on the newer models of cell phones! Yes, we've already got text, voice/sound, video/visual, and touch (they can be set to 'vibrate'), so the only thing left is... You guessed it: smell! So the next generation of cell phones must include a scent function that transmits aromas through the phone. They could call them "Smell Phones" (like "cell phones"), and they could have all kinds of practical uses! If someone is in the bathroom, you could smell their feces, and hang up on them. If someone calls home to say they're doing something innocent, when they're really out drinking at a bar, you could smell the alcohol on their breath. And if someone has been cheating on their spouse, you could smell the perfume, etc., on them. Also, if this technology could be put on the Internet, people could call their friends in the morning and record their face, bed-head and morning breath, and then put it up on Facebook to embarrass them.
Think of the fun it would be! Call Apple and Samsung if you like the idea, and demand they make a "Smell Phone"! (Then they could sue each other over it for years to come!)
