A new effort to curtail offensive language in Brussels has
had an unexpected drawback, reportedly leaving it open to abuse from
disgruntled ventriloquists. One such ventriloquist and self-described anarchist
said:
“When they first announced it, I called the guy a jerk, a
loser, an asshole, and a f*ckface, and I managed to get four different people
thrown out and fined right there. I thought: ‘This is great!’ You see, most
people don’t have any respect for ventriloquists like me, so this is the
perfect opportunity to get revenge on everyone! Plus, I’m tired of the
government trying to make people do whatever they want all the time. Well,
after that, I figured I could get everyone busted and make the government seem like the enemy, and so I
spend most of my time nowadays sitting at corner cafés, spitting out vile
insults so it sounds like other people are saying them. I get dozens of people
arrested and ticketed every day! It’s such a good scam, in fact, I’ve thought
about asking the government if I could do it full time for them. After all, I’m
making them tons of money this way; shouldn’t I get to wet my beak a little?”
Here’s the swearing story:
