Liam Neeson has a new movie coming out called Taken 2, the sequel to the earlier movie Taken, about his daughter being kidnapped by terrorists or
something. Now it looks like his daughter and his wife are being kidnapped, so
it’s more of the same, only I guess with like twice the excitement or
something? This is a shame, because this movie could have been more of the same
with a different twist: Taken 2 School! So here’s how this exciting story would play out:
Liam Neeson and his family have moved to a new city for his
new assignment, and when his daughter’s first day of school starts, he can’t be
there to drive her to school, so he calls some ex-special forces buddies of his
to go pick her up and drive her to school. So Neeson tries to call his daughter
and tell her about the guys who are coming to take her to school, but naturally
she’s on her cell phone talking about shoes or whatever, so he can’t get
through. So then the ex-special forces guys show up to take the daughter to
school, but she thinks she’s being kidnapped again, so she fights and tries to
flee, and they have to spend the rest of the movie tracking her down, abducting
her, and taking her to school.
So in the last bit of the movie, the guys finally catch her,
they throw a black sack over her head (because she’s screaming for help and
they don’t want to get caught), and they drive her to her new school, whereupon
they remove the sack from her head and say: “Here you are at school! Your dad
asked us to take you today, because he’s busy fighting terrorists or something,
but I guess he didn’t get a chance to tell you. Sorry about that.” And then she
says thanks, but complains that they ruined her hairstyle with the sack over
the head, and they promise to take her to the hair salon when they pick her up
after school (but she has other ideas, leading to the exciting sequel: Taken
3: Hair Force, where they have to track her
down after school and take her to get her hair done).
Then, if these were successful, the makers of this movie series
could make Taken 4 Lunch, where some
jerk from school wants to take Laim Neeson’s daughter out on a lunch date, but
she doesn’t want to go, and the guy’s father is also some CIA-type guy, so the
girl and the boy use the special spy/assassin training they’ve learned from
their fathers to try to escape from/catch up with each other, culminating in
the excitement of the fathers getting involved, and them all making friends
through the experience and all going out to lunch together. (They could say it
will “leave you hungry for more”!)
