I have been having fun trying to think up terrible sequel
ideas for great movie classics today, and having done so for Vertigo, I guess I might as well do the same for Rear
Window. Okay, here goes:
In this movie, Jimmy Stewart’s character breaks his leg
again, and he’s sitting in his apartment spying at his neighbors again like in
the first movie; only this time everybody knows about him being a peeping tom,
so when they see him watching them, they call the cops, and he’s caught in the
act. So he’s brought up on charges of peeping, and with evidence of him having
taken pictures of some of his neighbors as well, he gets sentenced to a short
prison term, where he happens to run into, you guessed it: Raymond Burr’s
wife-murderer character! Well, Raymond Burr is still mad at him for busting him
for murdering his wife, so Burr beats up Stewart’s character every day until he
is released from prison, making his life a living hell. And then, at the end,
he is finally released from prison, and we see him sitting in his living room
all by himself in a full body cast (Grace Kelly having broken their engagement
off for his peeping), and with his windows all painted black and boarded up so
he can no longer spy on any of his neighbors. The End.
And the moral of our story is: “No snitchin’!”
