Sources in the Romney campaign say Mitt Romney plans to be
president whether he wins or loses the 2012 election. Reportedly Mitt Romney
has bought a private island and is building a replica White House on it, so he
can be president no matter what happens. It’s even possible that the secret
construction at the White House in Washington DC recently was so President
Obama could claim Romney’s “White House” was not identical to the real thing,
just in case Romney loses the election. “Yes, President Obama is planning to
rub it in that Mitt Romney’s replica White House is not accurate. It’s our
number one priority, and that’s why we didn’t see the attacks in North Africa
coming. Embarrassing Mitt Romney is our most important job, bar none. We’ve
even got everyone in the media working on it; except for one network, but they
don’t really count, right?”, an undisclosed White House aide reportedly said.
Mitt Romney intends to make good on his promise for a new
policy in the Middle East, and just in case he loses the election, he has
ordered an entire army’s-worth of radio-controlled toy airplanes and
helicopters, so he can fight back against extremists with at least something,
even if it’s only in jest, really. Romney reportedly criticized the president,
saying: “This is more than Obama would do! And, okay, he killed bin Laden, but
how many bin Ladens has he killed lately? If I were president, I’d hire people
to dress up as bin Laden, and I’d kill them on camera once every minute! That
would show everyone we meant business! President Obama is clearly soft on
actors playing terrorists dressed up as bin Laden, and that sends a message of
weakness to our enemies!” Obama supporters called this statement appallingly
ridiculous, but they support the president on anything and everything, so
clearly we can’t trust them anyway.
