Well, Joe Biden said, in reference to the alleged Iranian terrorist assassination plot just uncovered, that “all options are on the table” for our response. And you know what that means! There are a lot of options! Unless it’s a small table. Actually, he didn’t say what kind of a table it is, so we don’t really know.
You see, the larger the table the options are on, the more options we could have on the table, right? That’s obvious. So let’s say it’s a big banquet table: then we can have tons of options on the table, including lots of military ones. But if it’s a bedside table, then that’s going to seriously limit the number of options we’ve got. See what I mean?
I don’t know who made the rules about how everything always has to be on a table, though. I guess that’s just how the government does things. But it seems pretty stupid and limited to me to do it like that. Although, in that sense, it’s pretty much like everything else the government does: ineffective and inefficient. Why can’t they just keep the options on a desk, or in the drawers of the desk? Why not put them on shelves or something? Or better yet, why not just make an Excel spreadsheet with all the options on it in alphabetical order? That would seem like the best idea to me. But apparently they have to put them on a table, so whatever table it is will obviously limit the options we have to respond with.
I wish Vice President Biden had been a little more specific about the kind of table we’re talking about here. But maybe that’s all part of his plan! Perhaps if he can get the Iranians all worried about what kind of table he’s talking about, they’ll be all distracted, and then we can attack them more successfully. Do you think that could be it? Maybe it is! Maybe that crazy Joe Biden is crazy like a fox!
