Frankenberry cereal always had these super-tame commercials for kids. But the idea of using Frankenstein as a model for cereal seems to suggest so many gory ideas, it hardly seems suitable for children. That’s why I think they ought to make an adult-themed Frankenberry commercial for all the gorehounds out there!
Here’s how it would play out: Dr. Frankenstein would be working in his laboratory with corpses and body parts and organs and gore strewn about everywhere. He would finish a suture on his monster (that looks like a very gory real-life version of the Frankenberry monster), sigh heavily, and say it’s time for breakfast. (He’s been working all night, you see.) So he would take a skull saw to a cadaver’s skull and cut off the top part of the skull to use as a bowl. He would take it, still dripping with blood, over to a gurney where he has a box of Frankenberry cereal and a carton of milk. (The milk carton has a picture on it of a missing person who looks like the Frankenberry monster.) Then he would pour the cereal into the skull bowl, and pour milk into it. (The blood would make the milk turn pink). Then he would start to eat it. At this point, the announcer would say that it’s part of a compete breakfast, and show a bowl of Frankenberry cereal in milk on a gurney with a plate with a brain on it, a plate with a heart on it, and an Erlenmeyer flask full of smoking green liquid.
See? Wouldn’t that be more accurate? Just like a Hammer Frankenstein movie!
