The song about the $5 Footlong, and the hand gestures of holding up the hand showing five fingers and then showing the two hands to indicate the foot long length are great. They’ve made and remade this ad so many times, it’s hard to keep track of them all. It seems they’ve used almost every movie genre imaginable (from the Frankenstein lab scene to the cheerleaders in a Bring It On-type sequence) except the one that would actually make sense in the context of using these hand gestures: porno.
I know they’d never even consider doing this, but at least it would make sense with the hand signals, and they wouldn’t even have to show anything naughty or explicit. Here’s how it would work: show a girl sitting on a couch in a halter top and shorts, and some guy steps up in front of her (his back is to us: we only see his back and his butt, and he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt), unzips his pants (we just hear the zipping sound effect), and shows her his “tool”. She takes one look and holds up her hand to him, as if to say: “Hold on a minute!” Then she turns to the camera (as if to tell the director of the porno movie something) and gives the hand signals for the $5 Footlong: she holds up her hand with the five fingers showing (as if to say: “stop: hold everything”), and then she does the two hands to indicate the foot long length (as if to say that’s why she’s saying to forget it). Hey, it may be classless, but at least it would make sense, which is more than I can say for the others!
