Television commercials for high-fiber cereals always stress how you won’t believe how edible they taste, etc., since we all instinctively know anything that helps produce excrement also tastes like it. And what’s so great about fiber? Well, it makes you regular, I think, and that’s about it. So why go through all this when there’s something else that helps keep you regular too: laxatives! They fortify sugared cereal with vitamins and stuff, so why not laxatives too? Then we could eat yummy cereal and still be able to take a crap!
So how about this for an idea? You know how Ex Lax makes a chocolate laxative? Well, why not make Cocoa Puffs with chocolate Ex Lax, or Count Chocula with chocolate Ex Lax? That way you could get all the benefits of a high-fiber cereal (the being able to poop part), and it would taste yummy! Plus, if your kids ever needed help in the regularity department, you could simply feed them some of this laxative-fortified cereal, and they’d be able to “go like a pro”! And, they’d eat it without complaining! (Just keep it out of reach of the kids, so they don’t have constant liquid diarrhea, also known as "poop soup"!)
You know you want some, so inundate General Mills with requests now!
