Monday, October 10, 2011

Dragon

Dragon is the name of a computer program that lets you talk, and it types up what you say. You know, like a dragon would do. Right? Because dragons are known for their stenographer skills and fast and accurate typing and stuff, aren’t they? That’s why knights used to fight dragons all the time: so their girlfriends could get good secretarial work. You see, dragons were so good at it, it was impossible for anyone to compete for administrative jobs in those days. And before you call me a sexist, remember that this is the middle ages we’re talking about here, so it’s not my fault that most of the women’s jobs back then were support staff. But up yours for trying to accuse me anyway, jerk!

So what was I talking about again? Oh yes, the dragon. Sorry about that.

So this whole thing about the job situation in the middle ages must be true, or else calling this product a “dragon” is a bit off-base. I would have thought that “The Audio Stenographer”, or “The Dictator”* (<because it takes dictation, right? Plus, it might be extra popular with the bondage crowd!) would be a better name for a product that does this kind of thing. But I’m sure they know better. Maybe most people think of dragons taking dictation, and all that breathing fire and flying around terrorizing medieval villagers and fighting knights and protecting treasure and stuff is something I dreamed about and only thought I remembered as being real. But then again, dragons like that weren’t real anyway, were they? So that proves they must have just been typists.

* (Actually, maybe “The Dictator” ought to be a program where the computer tells you what to do, rather than the other way around!)

Here’s the website for the Dragon system: