In James Bond movies, we always see our hero engaging in lots of steamy unprotected sex, which always made me wonder why it is that Mr. Danger never seems to get stuck with the consequences of his sexual escapades. Like, for example, when was the last time we see James Bond getting treatment for an STD? And how come he never has some foreign sexy secret agent lady drop off a baby with him while she goes off on some secret assassination mission? And that's why I think we should see that, perhaps in the next Bond movie.
Yes, in this next Bond movie, James Bond would be back at Her Majesty's Secret Service Headquarters, getting debriefed and recuperating from his last death-defying derring-do duties, when one of the sexy secret agents he banged in one of the recent movies comes sauntering in with a bassinet, and she drops the kid off with him to care for while she's away on some dangerous secret mission. And James Bond says he didn't know he had a baby, and she says she wanted to keep it secret, but now she has to go on a very risky mission, and she doesn't want to take a chance that their child will be an orphan, so she dumps the baby off with him Three Men and a Baby-style, and now he must be a father to an unexpected infant. Oh, the hilarity!
But it's not all fun and games, for James Bond gets called out on a secret, perilous mission of his own (!), and so he's got to take the baby along. So Q develops a bulletproof Baby Bjorn (called a "Baby Bond"), and rigs up a gun with a binky on it so he can keep the baby quiet wile engaging in gun battles with adversaries. And, naturally, since this is already ripping off one high-profile movie (Three Men and a Baby), it might as well rip off another one (Prizzi's Honor), and so James Band and the mother of his baby are assigned to kill each other (!!). Oh, but because of the baby, they work together to kill off their superiors, and they form their own independent spy agency working for the highest bidder from now on. (Okay, so they'll use a different ending.)
