Monday, August 5, 2013

Tums Taco Ad

In this commercial for Tums antacid, a man-sized taco walks into a Mexican restaurant looking to start some sh!t, and a woman steals a Mariachi's guitar to smash it with, depriving this hardworking musician of a means to feed his family. So she lets him take the giant dead taco home to eat. (Yum!)

So this is really cute and fun and everything, but this ignores a very dangerous new trend. Yes, apparently now the Mexican drug cartels are hiring mad scientists to bring giant tacos to life, and then they're sending them out as their assassins (!). Yes, nobody would suspect that a giant taco was, in fact, a dangerous drug cartel killer, now would they? And that's how they always get away with everything: the taco kills their target, and then everyone else overpowers and eats the taco, leaving no evidence behind for investigators to solve the case. It's a dangerous and delicious new trend, and apparently the only weaknesses these taco terrorists have is having a guitar smashed on them (It has to be a Mariachi guitar to work though, like a wooden stake for a vampire, or a silver bullet for a werewolf.), or having a Tums crushed on them. (<Likewise, it must be a Tums, as Rolaids and other antacids do not work on giant killer tacos, and just make them mad.)

So what was happening in this commercial, in reality, was that a dangerous Mexican drug cartel sent this taco to kill this woman, an undercover DEA agent; but since she's an expert martial artist and monster taco fighter, she knew just what to do: smash it with a Mariachi guitar, and then crush a Tums on it for good measure. And then, also being a black magician, she brought it back to life as a good guy taco to work for the DEA in infiltrating the cartels. And she knows it's on her side when it starts playing the trumpet. (This stuff is very complicated and takes years of training to master.)

Here's the threatening taco Tums ad: