It was reported this week that the federal government is beginning a "Nudge" program to encourage Americans to make choices the tyrannical government wants to brainwash us into. Um, I mean, to helpfully force us against our will to slavishly follow their every command. Um, that is, uh, they want to help us make good decisions, since we're not obeying enough, or something. But it's really helpful, I'm sure, and we should all be grateful. (Or else!)
But we still may not follow their dictates even with subliminal brainwashing psy-ops tactics, so it was recently revealed that if the "Nudge" program does not obtain the desired results of absolute behavioral compliance, Phase 2 of the "Nudge" program will be rolled out: "Nugie". The "Nugie" program will use an army of secret government agents to watch over our every decision, and whenever we make the wrong decision in our personal lives, the government agents will quickly grab us, put us in a headlock, and give us a painful and embarrassing nugie. And, feeling the physical pain and public humiliation of this procedure, we will surely learn that doing what the government wants us to do is the most advantageous thing after all, even if we don't want to. Because after all, at least we won't get a nugie if we follow their dictates.
(This "Nudge" program derives from a book called Nudge, by some Obama Administration advisors, and on the cover of the book is an example of a "Nudge": There's a picture of an adult elephant nudging a younger elephant with its trunk. And we all know that the elephant is the mascot of the Republican Party. And so whenever people get upset with this "Nudge" tactic and feel it is intrusive and abusive of the government to engage in such behavior modification activities, they'll look up the book, see elephants, and blame the Republicans. It's not telling us what to think; it's just providing a "nudge" to get us blaming who they want us to blame. But if they were honest about this book and its contents, there should be a Democratic Party donkey kicking someone in the head for making the "wrong" decision; that's what they really want to do anyway, punish "wrong" thinking, isn't it? That's what it looks like...)
