When I was a young man,
whenever there was something yucky-tasting or strong alcohol-wise, everyone
would say to whomever didn’t want to drink it: “Come on, it’ll put hair on your
chest!” But it didn’t really. Oh, but testosterone supplements might just put
hair on your chest. And I only mention it, because I couldn’t help but notice
that most of our young movie star men don’t seem to have any chest hair these
days. And so I was thinking that maybe they need some testosterone therapy. So
perhaps we should help them with an ad that lets them know it might help with
this issue…
So here’s the idea for
this ad: We see some thirty-something man trying to peer-pressure some
twenty-something man into drinking some strong shot of booze, saying: “Come on,
it’ll put hair on your chest!” But just then, Testosterone Man (the superhero I
just made up) smashes through the wall, punches the older guy’s lights out, and
says: “Not true! Liquor may make you feel
manly, but it won’t actually put any real
hair on your chest. If it’s chest hair you want, you’ve got to get manlier, with testosterone therapy, from
Axiron (or whatever brand of testosterone therapy)!”
And then, after the
therapy, the young man looks like a werewolf, and he gets shot with a silver
bullet (!). No, not a Coors Light, the other kind. (Oh, the humanity.) And then
his family sues the FDA for approving testosterone therapy…
Of course, this ad would
work a whole lot better if the testosterone supplement was called Machismol,
like I keep suggesting. Then the slogan could be: “Get macho, with Machismol: It’ll put hair on your chest!”
