Robot Chicken, one of my favorite shows ever on television, occasionally has
sketches about fictional bloopers from well-known movies. So when Clash of the Titans, the Ray Harryhausen
classic, was on TCM the other night, I couldn’t help but think of some silly
bloopers like might be seen on Robot
Chicken.
In the scene where Queen
Cassiopeia insults the goddess Thetis, the giant head of the statue of Thetis
comes crashing down, accidentally crushing Princess Andromeda. Then everyone
starts laughing, and the statue’s head becomes animated, sees what happened,
and starts laughing too, saying: “Oh, whoops; I was going to demand you
sacrifice her. I guess it’s too late now, huh?” Everyone laughs harder, and the
director yells: “Cut!” Then, in the next take, the statue’s head falls, crushing
Perseus. Then the head becomes animated and starts laughing, saying: “He was
going to save her, wasn’t he? Not anymore! Ha ha ha!”, and the crew all start laughing. The
director yells: “Cut! I know you think this is very funny, but can we do it
right for once?” Then, in the next take, the head falls off sideways, crushing
the director. Everyone laughs, including the giant statue’s head, who says: “How
was that? Better?” Everyone laughs louder.
In the scene where
Perseus and his men cross the River Styx, Perseus hands Charon the coins, but
because Charon’s hand is a skeleton hand, the coins fall through his
metacarpals, bouncing into the boat. Charon tries to pick them up, but he
can’t, due to his skeleton hand. Perseus and his men all start laughing, and
offended, Charon pushes them all into the water and rows away by himself, at
which point the director yells: “Cut! They didn’t mean it, please come back.”
Then, in take two, Perseus places the coins in Charon’s hand but they fall
through again, this time into the water. Charon reaches into the water, but
falls in, sinking to the bottom. Perseus and his men start to row away without
him, and the director yells: “Cut! Can we follow the script, please?” Then, in
the next take, Perseus hands Charon a $100 bill, asking: “Can you change a
hundred?” Everyone laughs, and the director yells: “Cut! Can we do this right,
please?” (Charon pockets the hundred.)
In the scene where
Perseus’s men fight the two-headed dog Dioskilos, one of them brings a discus
and throws it, causing the dog to go chasing after it playfully. All the men
fighting the dog start laughing, and the director says: “Cut! I told you not to
do that!”, causing everyone to laugh louder. Then, in the next try, someone
drops a couple of squeaky toys, and the dog starts playing with them, making
everyone fall down laughing, and causing the director to yell: “Cut! God damn
it!” Then, at the next take, someone throws a cat, and the dog goes chasing
after it, with much meowing and barking, and everyone starts laughing. The
director yells: “Cut! Oh, very mature.”
In the scene where
Perseus comes back triumphant, having killed Medusa, Perseus walks back to his
men, holding the severed head of Medusa aloft, proclaiming: “I got it!”
Everyone looks at the head and turns to stone, causing Perseus to look up at it
too, saying: “Oh, shit, sorry…”, and he turns to stone. The director yells:
“Cut! God damn it!” And then we hear the turning to stone sound effect,
indicating that the director and camera crew have turned to stone as well.
At the final clash,
Perseus, while riding Pegasus, gets hit with a bird strike before he can get
Medusa’s head back, and as he goes tumbling into the sea, another seagull grabs
Medusa’s head and flies away. Everyone laughs, the Kraken strikes, kills Princess
Andromeda, and everyone gets massacred. The director yells: “Cut! Can’t you do
anything right? Try it again!”
