DirecTV has had a commercial running for quite awhile where some poor guy with a torch in the freezing cold tundra is fighting these cute fluffy wolves, and right in the middle of the life-or-death struggle, some guy with a TV remote control puts the action on pause and walks around his house and stuff, and everywhere he goes, the guy and the wolves are there in every room! And when the guy with the remote walks through his house, we can clearly see that this is a pretty nice house: like, way nicer than being out in the freezing cold fighting for your life (whether you’re a man or a wolf)! And this guy with the remote isn’t even trying to help his fellow man whatsoever, aside from pausing the fight from time to time for his own amusement. So what this makes me think of is, when he starts the action back up again, why don’t the wolves and the torch guy work together to kill the remote control guy? Then they can move into that guy’s nice house and relax for a while!
Look, that guy the wolves are fighting has a thick coat on, which has got to be a hassle to chew through right there, plus the guy is brandishing a lit torch, which could totally burn the wolves and set their fur on fire (and I’m sure they wouldn’t like that)! But that other guy, the guy with the TV remote, he’s just wearing a thin t-shirt! They could totally tear his throat out, and all he could do is maybe smack them with the remote control! So if one of them could just pounce on that guy and tear his throat out before he can press pause again, they can all kill him and eat him and move into his nice warm house, and then the torch guy and the wolves could just live happily ever after in a nice upscale home and raid his refrigerator! Then the torch guy could adopt the wolves as pets, and whenever they got hungry, he could invite someone over from the remote control guy’s address book, and they could all eat whoever showed up. Anyway, that’s what I’d do.
Here’s the contentiously combative and conceivably carnivorous commercial:
