Thursday, January 19, 2012

FedEx Enchanted Forest Ad

Lately I’ve noticed that many commercials are running for a full minute on prime time slots. That’s twice as long as I’m used to. (Don’t worry, the crappy cable stations are still running the 30 and 15 second ads, and the late night stuff is still running the Snuggie ads and infomercial spots, so the whole world isn’t radically changing all around us.) But with these longer slots come fuller stories and better direction, characters, etc. (So long as you don’t hate the ad: then it’s twice as lame!)

But wow, what’s not to like here? It’s cute and well done, so kudos, guys! It will get aggravating after 100+ viewings, however, no matter how good it is, so please don’t run it for so long that we all hate it, okay? Please?

Oh, and don’t send fairy tale princesses to deliver packages: they may not get all the packages delivered for all the evil queens and wicked witches and horrible monsters and contract hunters trying to kill them all the time. They could also run off with some handsome prince at any time and live happily ever after, and you won’t have any recourse to force them to finish making all the deliveries. So your truck could simply wind up abandoned in some fairy tale kingdom somewhere, still full of undelivered packages galore! And that would sully your delivery record, which is something I’m sure you wouldn’t like. Oh, and avoid eating those magic mushrooms, too, especially while driving.

Here’s the magical mystical tale:


(And by the way: if you think a company that spends all its time driving trucks and flying planes is the friend of the forest, you really will believe in fairy tales, because you’re very gullible. I like FedEx a lot, and they’re very dependable, but this is pure tree-hugging propaganda. But if those trees could really move and talk, they’d attack the FedEx trucks like they did Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz!)