Saturday, January 28, 2012

Mint Romney

Hey, we all know Mitt Romney is kind of dull and flavorless, right? But he also has lots and lots of money! So perhaps it would be possible for some marketing guy to come up with an idea that would make people think of something more flavorful when they hear his name from now on. Wouldn't that help to brainwash people to think of him as not quite so bland? Well, then, how about this as an idea: Mint Romney!

He could start a new company called "Mint Romney", and make Altoids-like breath mints, Orbit-like mint chewing gum, minty gel toothpaste, minty fresh mouthwash, etc., all with "Mint Romney" written on it in big letters, and with a cartoon picture of Mitt Romney's smiling face right on the packaging! And he could produce it all, and give it all away for free! And then whenever anyone used these products, they'd get a minty-fresh feeling, and they'd subconsciously begin to associate it with Mitt Romney! (So when they had their mouths washed, they'd also get their brains washed, too!)

And the best thing about this idea for Mitt Romney is that because he's so ridiculously, fabulously, filthy rich, he could make all this stuff and pay for it out of his own pocket, saving all that campaign and SuperPAC money for ads to destroy his competition. And if anyone complains about it, he could simply say that he's starting up a new business venture to sell all this stuff, and he's just giving it all away for free to start with as a promotion to build brand loyalty, and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with his campaign. (And after all the absolutely obvious BS scam stuff that's going on with the SuperPACs "not co-ordinating" with the campaigns they support, how can anyone bust his chops for this?)