Monday, January 9, 2012

The Gatorade Slicker

(This is a joke, but I think they really ought to do it!)

While watching the BCS National Championship Game, I saw the usual scene of Nick Saban getting soaked in the Gatorade bath. He was wiping it out of his hair, and you could tell he was hating how sticky it was feeling, and then someone handed him a Gatorade towel (it had the Gatorade logo all over it). And then I thought how Gatorade had better give him a towel, after how many times he’s been soaked in their product! And then I thought: Hey! How about a Gatorade slicker? (A slicker, as in: a raincoat.) It would be great!

Only coaches with a winning record or reputation would be awarded with the Gatorade slicker! (And the awarding ceremony would be a big promotional opportunity for Gatorade!) It would be black or white (or custom colored for whatever team's coach it's being awarded to), with a hood and with the Gatorade logo all over it, and just as the game was coming to an end, and the coach was sure they were going to win the game (and hence he’d get the Gatorade bath!), they’d put it on, and it would protect them from the Gatorade bath! That way, they’d no longer be all sticky and stained whatever color for the post-game interviews.

Oh, but what if they put it on too soon, and the other team somehow came back with a miracle play to win the game? Well, if that happened a few times, then it would become knows as “the Curse of the Gatorade Slicker”! And then coaches would be afraid to do it. Oh, but then the commentators would talk about it: Will he or won’t he put on that Gatorade slicker? And is “the Curse of the Gatorade slicker” real? (Like the “curse” of the Madden video game cover.) But it wouldn’t matter, for no matter what happened, they’d all be talking about Gatorade! (I mean, they mention it now, when they do the Gatorade bath, but they’d talk about it a lot more with the Gatorade slicker!)

Like they say: You can’t buy publicity like that! (But you can think up ways to get it for free! So Gatorade: when you do it, please remember that I thought it up for you!)